Have science-fiction socioeconomic allegories declined since Fritz Lang, or what!?! Lang’s Metropolis was a brilliant Marxist cautionary tale about a future when the poor work underground to sustain the lavish lives of the rich above. Bong Joon-Ho never saw or never understood Metropolis when he fever-dreamt Snowpiercer, a ripoff dystopian thriller about the last vestiges of humanity riding a train through a frozen wasteland on tracks that never need repairs with the poor (dead-weight in the caboose) saved from expulsion for harebrained purposes I won’t reveal; but I will suggest sterilization as a less convoluted alternative. Steely-eyed messiah Chris Evans, who retains a perfect buzz-cut despite living in claustrophobic squalor, leads a revolt up to the deified conductor. Ignore the flimsy premise, forget the asinine plot, overlook the dunderheaded classism metaphor—and Snowpiercer is still an overly violent and cynical train wreck which I loathed pretty much from “all aboard” to “last stop”.